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Monday, June 23, 2008

Is Divorce The Answer?

The whole News Media and Christians alike  terrified with this news at least I speak for myself . I thought pastors/bishops were role models? and people who should show the "lost" the way to the Cross, how disappointed I am  about this news. I ask myself couldn't they have forgiven and forgotten? or was their bruised ego too much to bear; making it difficult for them to humble themselves before God and reconcile to the Glory of God?. (sometimes I wonder if it was as a result of the beating taking place at a public place that made it worse for her to forgive, maybe if it was at home nobody would know and she might still be in the Marriage) who knows!? I ask again isn't there any tiniest way the Holy Spirit must have dropped it in their hearts for them to make peace for the sake of the flock they are overseeing? Well I know that some of us are too familiar with God so we can  do whatever we like Proverb 14:12  There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death.

Juanita and Thomas Weeks  Televangelist Juanita Bynum and husband Thomas W. Weeks ended their marriage in divorce court Friday, several months after an altercation in a hotel parking lot landed Weeks in jail on charges he choked and beat his wife.

The couple exchanged few words and barely glanced each other’s way during a hearing that ended their six-year marriage. Bynum signed a settlement agreement last week offered by Weeks, and the proceeding before a judge in suburban Atlanta lasted less than an hour.

Bynum filed for divorce in September, a month after the quarrel in the parking lot of an Atlanta hotel. Weeks ultimately pleaded guilty to assaulting her and is serving three years’ probation.

Despite the urge not to go into the issue of divorce  because I consider it a very touchy subject not to be toyed with. . . but we as Children of God know it is very evident now that Christians just divorce at the drop of a hat. .  . for I have heard every excuse there is about this subject, from the very unimaginable situations to the down right silly explanations. for many people it seems they have forgotten the law and commandments of God concerning Divorce so it is now ok for men/women to divorce their spouses at the slightest offence or irritation.

For this post, am concentrating on Christian Divorce cases and not that of the world. My thought on this first of all no offence meant to anyone; because I love all Children of God especially those that say they have been called by God  I respect that very well For the Bible says "touch not mine anointed and do my prophets no harm" I have always kept that commandment by God grace and am not about to do otherwise here but, I have been disturbed about this development .

 Juanita Bynum is someone I have watched for years especially on TBN Praise the Lord Program" And I have heard them say God said this and that and I never disputed that for a moment but, the moment you turn away from that which you say God told you to do, I get worried and I begin to wonder  when you say, you have been called by God to do something. . . . do you think God will let you fail in that which He has called you unto?  Never! most times when we say God said we should do this or that most times it's our minds talking to us and not the voice of God. For our God is true and He gives good gifts James 1:17 and In Him there is no variableness or shadow of turning. Our God does not change

I ask again, Don't these preachers and pastors that divorce and remarry at will, have any obligation towards the followers of their ministries?, I shudder to  Imagine the kind of advice they would give out to  their members with troubling marriages, I also ask what now makes you an anointed person of God? or what is it that separates you from the rest of mankind if you cannot endure a little discomfort in your life for the sake of the Gospel you have been called to preach?. e.g if a Church member falls into temptation should a pastor fall into same? James 1: 12Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him. 13Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: 14But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.

I agree  that marriages are difficult no doubt, life is tough. some might say, what does she know? what's she talking about? if you read my testimony you would know that not only do I know what am talking about but the Lord has made it possible for me to be  voice against such. I am a witness to a very bad marriage but that would not make me change the word of God to suit my purposes. In fact, living with one another takes a lot of work and energy and willingness to go the extra mile. what a shame when unbelievers stay in their marriages for years and years and pastors divorce everyday all over the World!

I grew up hearing my mum say Judgement will start in the Church as a Child I didn't understand what she was talking about but today the Lord has made it real to me

It's like we Christians  love making excuses for our sins. before you know some would say satan attacks marriages of men of God that is why alot of Christian marriages fail today, but the truth is, satan attacks every child of God not only  the marriage of Children of God, but the fact remains that if you resist the devil he will flee from you says the Lord. it is a rightful power given to us as Christians to resist the devil and his temptations.

Another major reason I see couples divorcing is as result of Selfishness, This too , lack of love and unforgiveness  for  When we hold grudges against a genuinely repentant spouse and remain hardhearted towards them whether or not we divorce them, we Sin against God and hinder our own  walk  with God 1 Pet 3. if you cannot forgive and ask God to lead the way in the marriage,what can you do as a fleshy man, I tell you  when you truly invite God into it, I don't think that God will tell people to divorce when He hates divorce. you might want to read the whole of I Peter 3

There are people that are separated/divorced but not because of the faults but rather the other spouse divorced them or wanted out of the relationship and today they are alone and Confused, well as the Bible records in 1 Corinthians 7: 11But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. This scriptures also applies to men.pity many pastors skip this part of the Scriptures amongst others

What the Spirit of God has taught me about marriage

Honestly I feel that at many points in a marriage; people  will definitely have problems at one point or the other ,so no matter how sweet your marriage is today don't gloat at someone's marital problems. for the fact that a Christian is married does not mean they are married in Christ. To be married in Christ means the couple allowing Christ to control and take center stage in the marriage. A Christ centered marriage does not depend on material, physical or social blessings to blossom. . . even when the basic necessities are lacking in the marriage the spiritual presence of Christ in the marriage supplies enough spiritual stamina to weather the storm and forge  ahead rather than falling apart or start looking for alternatives a la divorce / separation. In marriage somebody has got to yield and bend over for the other at one point it is not easy but it takes grace and love to be loving and submissive. for love never fails. if you are not walking/working in love you are shutting down the power of God flowing freely and in the process short changing yourself in the end.

my husband normally says " A Christ controlled marriage keeps all the vows and creed of conjugal commitments without relying on external factors." i.e Money, social well being, affluence, connections and  comfort 

Is it good for Christians to Divorce? my Bible tells me No, Because God hates divorce, some would quote the passage except on grounds of Infidelity should one divorce but the Bible does not say you should remarry and if you must divorce then you must remain celibate that is what my Bible tells me I know a lot will argue this out but that is my take. remember I speak as a Christian Because I believe Jesus wants us to forgive and forget and not destroy our homes and families.

Finally As a "Christian" this lives me with the following mind boggling questions the way ministers of God are divorcing and separating daily world over ....

Does this mean divorce is now the only way out of a bad marriage? 

Does this mean we can just divorce when we feel like it, or when things are not going as planned?

Can I just leave my husband whenever I feel like maybe when he treats me badly or even beats me up?

Would God Accept  a decision from my husband that I no longer please Him hence He wants a Divorce?

Are you trapped in an unhappy marriage and contemplating divorce? do you think God will tell you to leave  your spouse?

Do you think the same God that is love, would support hate and Strife that divorce/separation brings..... in the story above you can see the Ministers Juanita Bynum and Thomas Weeks couldn't even make eye contact with one another!

Think On This

The world's ways won't win spiritual battles.

If you're a Christian, you must see as God sees

Are we handling our giants as God would have us?

21 Readers Commented:

  1. So wonderful to read your post!

  2. I agree our church leaders need to lead by example. Divorce is not allowed my the clergy in Scripture. divorce has become an easy way out. Marriage takes a lot of work and we find to many that are to lazy to work at it.

  3. Anonymous21:55

    The divorce rate for Christian marriages especially pastors, bishops and reverends is at an all time high. The stress and pressures of church leadership gets to be to much for the spouse which is in some ways left out. Yet this should not be the reason for divorce. Divorce today is the easy way out. It is so easy to say "I'm leaving and filing for divorce" rather than stay and fight for your family. I know it has happened to me. But yet we prayed, we sought the help of the only one who could help and save our marriage which was God. Christians give up to easily, but I can see how this happens. Great writing my friend. God bless!

  4. The fear of the Lord is lacking in the Church. Christians talk a lot about the love and grace of God, but the Lord is also a Judge and we need to revere Him. This is nothing but rebelling against His kingdom. May God give us grace to be living examples in Jesus name


  5. Thanks for this message.I believe it's going to give hope to those whose marriage is about hitting the rocks and sustain all others with one marital problem or the other.Pity about Bynum and Weeks, i'm sorry to say they have allowed the devil to take centre stage in their lives, i'm not really sure they were actually born again in the first place!Six years marriage ending in divorce!What a pity!

  6. Divorce is caused by many things and has become an increasing trend. You should check out this article that talks about the divorce trend and how marriage problems that lead to divorce stem from a lack communication and devotion to making it work ( Marriage is tough and works when two people are dedicated to giving and taking, but today everyone is so focused on satisfying their own needs that they will break up which will not necessarily make them happier.

  7. It's not the correct solution..... Both should sit and try to sort out the problems....

  8. Hi Lance, We give God all the Glory and a big Godbless you for reading the post too

  9. Brother Jim, You have just said it the way it should be but, how many men of God would accept that fact/truth, it's like that part of their lives is not Gods business and they don't want the Holy Spirit toi be involved


  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

  11. Valerie I agree with you that it is very bad these days and it is the sign of the end times, also am glad that you and your husband are together after all that is the point, not that there would be no arguments or even disagreements but forgive and make up is the key top a Fruitful marriage

  12. Sidhart, the part the we forget about God being a Judge is the reason why people sin without feeling guilty any more, so you are right


  13. Haa Bola "you are not sure they were born again in the first place"! these were ordained pastors and Bishop , that is why it is a big Shame.
    Godbless youi for your comment sis

  14. Hi RO, thanks for the comment and the link too you are blessed in Jesus Mighty Name Amen

  15. You are right Selerines, Godbless

  16. lukenzo11:51

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  17. Luckenzo11:53

    A thousand roses, a kilogram of diamond rock,(rings) romantic getaways, love at first sight, money,money, high status symbolisms...........among these exits no succour of marriage; exept in Christ Jesus. It's a pity Juanita and Thomas Weeks have to be in this negative light.

  18. This is a wake up call for us Christians, devil is diligently attacking the basic institution which God made. Please guard our marriage and family in prayers, so that no matter what the devil will pursue we our confident that our relationship is covered by HIS love.

    Let us pray for our families and for singles let us pray for our future families.

    We have the victory through Christ, the works of the enemies has been exposed.

    Thank you COH for these, you are such a blessing.

  19. Yadah, Am sure real Christians know the dangers of divorce and separation.

    God will keep helping us as we call on Him in all our affairs and not just some arears alone


  20. Well done, I think you might like my blog page too. Check it out at
    God bless you and you press on!

  21. Thank you, sis Johnson of the Ministry Center, I enjoyed your blog too
    Glad you have been serving the Lord God all these years.

    God is faithful


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