Sunday, April 20, 2008

My Testimony I

By the Special Grace of God, I  hereby submit a short version of my testimony, agree or not it is true, cannot write every thing Down but I must say that Life has taught me things only God knows. . . am not in the habit of talking much about myself and so if there any thing you might want to know about me, Read and feel free to ask me any questions you wish. Godbless. 

I would also like you to Read this post A  Brief  History About This Blog before you continue ... that is if you haven't already. Thanks.

Ecclesiastes 1:9-11, 9 History merely repeats itself. It has all been done before. Nothing under the sun is truly new. 10 What can you point to that is new? How do you know it didn’t already exist long ago? 11 We don’t remember what happened in those former times. And in future generations, no one will remember what we are doing now.

Revelations 12:11, 11 And they have defeated him because of the blood of the Lamb and because of their testimony.

Introduction

My Birth Name is IJ (meaning safe journey/ journey Mercies), I am Nigerian born to a Christian Home Anglican in the Niger Delta and now I  reside in Lagos State, according to the instruction  of the Lord, when He (God) said to; me to pack up your bags and go the Lagos and I will meet you there . . . God knows I hated the big city but I had no choice but to obey so, here I am trying to serve Christ any way I can. " that's another story for another day, as Lord pleases." Am also A University  graduate and am married to a wonderful man of God whom God gave to me for support and true friendship.

 Early Days

My parents got married at the Anglican Cathedral and the wedding was conducted by 6 Reverends and a Bishop. My Mum was very young and also she is a very trusting individual, what ever you say she believes, always seeing the best in everybody so she trusted my dad and married him. little did she know that was going to live to regret her decision later on.

They got married, very soon I was born into the family. mum was a young woman at the time she was over the moon thinking that from here on it was going to be a roller coaster ride for her and us her Children. well that was not to be the case as she was very much hated by my fathers sisters and so began the saga of many years of suffering in the hands of my father and his sisters.. . you see I grew up in so much hatred and wickedness that I taught I was not going to be able to love anyone since all I had was hatred but God turned me into a loving person today, that even when I tried to hate, I find it difficult and end up loving again and given so many second chances to people around me.

As a child I found out my father hated  my mother, and her children... his children, especially me since am the first born of the family, so maybe he believed I was the excuse why he should keep staying with a woman he hated so much and she was busy bearing him more children whom he loved to hate.(thank God for my brothers and sister) My childhood experience is so traumatizing that am not sure if it's something worth sharing but God told me to do so and God is Good all the time.  . . Amen.

Growing up  I witnessed so many hurtful situations, I will only give account of  a few,   as early as the age of seven I became my fathers punching bag, I was beaten mercilessly and manhandled in a way fit for  a criminal and not someone's child. My father and his sisters made sure they stole my childhood, they tormented me for years,  you might ask, how? let me throw a little light to how I grew up

For good Nine years I was a victim of physical torture almost daily, in other for you to understand my point take a look at this scenario that played out daily for years. My father called me names and beat my mother to pulp almost daily and I was next inline,   he could just come back from work and when I run out to go and greet him he would slap me in both my ears at the same time and he does this daily, I would find it difficult hearing after the slap,  till date I have trouble with my left ear. another constant scenario was that at night while sleeping he hits and pushes my room door open and gives me a heavy knock on the head to wake me up to ask for his food and it is mostly at midnight cos he was a heavy drinker and smoker. ..(because of the long years of  torture even my husband can't touch me at night I feel someone wants to beat me up ) My father was almost awake 24hrs a day or he sleeps when he leaves the house and goes to his many guest houses with his girlfriends that his sisters and brothers organized for him. whenever he comes back home there is tears and pain because I would be seriously beaten and he would ask us ; what are still doing in  my house?  and I would say "Papa please forgive us" and let us stay in the house with you, we have no where to go" and he would start stumping on my stomach and chest with his weight and he would beat me with the fan belt of his Mercedes Benz cars and also a mop stick, he always wanted to kill us , he would throttle me as if to choke me, I would be bleeding from my nose and other places  and then he would push me against the wall and I would hit my head on the wall and fall down, and also he would kneel me down and ask me to carry a heavy object over my head for hours. when that is not enough he would force me to crawl round the compound and scrape my knees on the granite floor, sometimes he put knife on my immediate Junior Brother's throat and my junior sister he threw downstairs from the balcony, God saved us we didn't die or were we disfigured in all these years.  this was what played out almost everyday he was drunk  and not in any particular order. but mostly it did happen like this. he kept on repeating the punishment , ?(I wondered why he didn't spank us like most parents did their kids) Instead he fought like he was fighting his match, it was like he was been controlled by forces to do those things to me  and my mum... especially when my mum became pregnant he would beat her that she would be bleeding all over the house he did it to her so she would miscarry and God never allowed that to happen. He was also doing all this to make his people happy, because if his people find out my mum is pregnant they would be angry with him. . . some times when my mum gets to the hospital she lies that she was mugged by robbers., Because it was too much , I know wives get beaten once in a while but ours was like daily and very brutal too.

Aside from the beatings he called me names and which I think is worse, cos the beating and the wounds healed over time but the words I remember daily and it pains me that my own father would do what an outsider wouldn't ever do to me uncountable times, he called me a nobody and a witch, a prostitute and, I was always checked if I was still a virgin he would send any lady available to do that(check) after beating me up even though I didn't even have a boyfriend let alone have sex, this was what I knew as life. he always told me that his brothers and sisters were the most important thing to him (but today he is singing another tune)

My fathers sisters hated me so much, they taunted me and my mother shamelessly we were all called for meetings and they assigned a particular punishment to us as they deemed fit at the time for any reason they have, what they do is they accuse you falsely and they punish you for it too, they reckoned my mum wasn't bold enough to leave so they where going to make sure they frustrated her out of her house, you could  see the glee in their faces as the spat on us and calls us all kinds of names. This made me draw closer to God daily and in my distress I cried all the time to Jesus and guess what He answered me. They also made sure that I shouldn't be friends with their Children, my cousins but today God has given me Jesus Christ, (He is all the friend I need that is why  I keep to myself till date. . . I found I have peace that way). . . we were always threatened to be banished all the time, by them Because they were living in their small world and mum was from a poor home, so they believed she was not their class, it was in such a time that I was recalled a day when I heard a voice say to me; they are out, they have all gone out, quick take that rope and hang your self on that tree so that all your troubles would be over, and they won't trouble you any more. As I sat there contemplating whether to get up and do it. I did I heard another voice say to me don't ! , am your father, I know your father has offended you a lot, I am here to help you I will never leave you nor forsake you I will take care of you,  just trust in me, though your father and Mother forsake you I will not forsake I knew from When you were in your mothers womb I have been watching I know what you are going through and I will help you. then I knew that was the voice of God and I didn't go through with the suicide anymore. . . it was later when I took to studying the word of God that I found that actually the  words I heard that day was in the Bible Isaiah 49:14-18, 14 But Zion said, The Lord hath forsaken me, and my Lord hath forgotten me.
15 Can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.
16 Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.
17 Thy children shall make haste; thy destroyers and they that made thee waste shall go forth of thee.
18 Lift up thine eyes round about, and behold: all these gather themselves together, and come to thee. As I live, saith the Lord, thou shalt surely clothe thee with them all, as with an ornament, and bind them on thee, as a bride doeth.

at least most of it.

To be continued

Godbless

Channelofhealing

4 comments:

tkwi said...

Its interesting how through all the abuse you kept your faith in God. I was the same way in growing up with alcoholic parents, though there was only violence in our house for a couple years. It was nothing near as bad as you were subjected to. I remember going to bed every night as a child and praying, "Dear Lord, please don't let anything bad happen tonight." And now that I am an adult, though there is no danger anymore, my prayer starts out the same way.

I'll continue reading your story.

Channelofhealing said...

Tkwi, I know You Feel me in everything, but thank God it's all good now.
Godbless you and thanks for reading.

King's Kid said...

Dear IJ,

I have started reading your Testimony, and I have come to the conclusion that I will have to finish it at home, as my eyes are welling up. Bless you my sister and I thank God for carrying you through the hurt and pain.

The LORD bless thee, and keep thee:
The LORD make his face shine upon thee, and be gracious unto thee:
The LORD lift up his countenance upon thee, and give thee peace.

Channelofhealing said...

Kings Kid, Greetings in the Name of the Lord, thanks for reading the story am grateful

Godbless you too and Keep you in Jesus Mighty Name Amen