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Beware, I pray thee, of presuming that thou art saved. If thy heart be renewed, if thou shalt hate the things that thou didst once love, and...

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Humor

smile

Question and answer

Q: Why do they say 'Amen' at the end of a prayer instead of 'Awomen'?
A: The same reason they sing Hymns instead of Hers!
Q: Why didn't Noah go fishing?
A: He only had two worms!
Q: When was the longest day in the Bible?
A: The day Adam was created because there was no Eve.
Q: Why did God create man before woman?
A: He didn't want any advice.
Q: What do you call a sleepwalking nun?
A: A roamin' Catholic!
Doctor: 'Your recovery was a miracle!'
Patient: 'PRAISE GOD. Now I don't have to pay you!'
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Even then men wouldn't ask for directions!

Try to help the people

A big, burly man visited the pastor's home and asked to see the minister's wife, a woman well known for her charitable impulses.
"Madam," he said in a broken voice, "I wish to draw your attention to the terrible plight of a poor family in this district. The father is dead, the mother is too ill to work, and the nine children are starving. They are about to be turned into the cold, empty streets unless someone pays their rent, which amounts to $400."
"How terrible!" exclaimed the preacher's wife. "May I ask who you are?"
The sympathetic visitor applied his handkerchief to his eyes. "I'm the landlord," he sobbed.

Modern world morals

Two bishops were discussing the decline in morals in the modern world.
"I didn't sleep with my wife before I was married," said one clergyman self-righteously, "Did you?"
"I don't know," said the other. "What was her maiden name?"

7 Readers Commented:

  1. Great jokes! Visted your page just at the moment I needed a good laugh! Thanks for making me laugh on a day which was not so good! I am so glad God has a good sense of humor! God bless you my friend and love you!

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  2. To God be all the Glory!!! Valerie and love you too.

    Godbless

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  3. LOL! I wonder where you get these? Fun!

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  4. Sid , Glad you like them, I do get them online most of the time.
    Godbless

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  5. God is good all the time
    Halleluyah

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  6. Thanks for the laughs, sis. :)

    Loved the one about God not wanting advice, ha ha! Hmm... why do I see many women with clubs looking through my window...?

    Gotta run, catch you later!

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  7. Love it too Isaiah, it was funny so funny. run for your life before we get to you.

    Godbless you Brother

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