Jokes for the Year
A Protestant minister was in a teasing mood one day. He met his friend, Rabbi Levy, and began,
"You know, Rabbi Levi, I dreamed of a Jewish heaven the other night. It was very lifelike and seemed to me to fit the Jewish ideal. It was much like a crowded street in Brooklyn, with Jewish people everywhere. There were clothes on the line from every window, women on every stoop, pushcart peddlers on every corner, children playing ball on every street. The noise and confusion was so great that I woke up."
"Hmmm," said the Rabbi. "By a strange coincidence I dreamed the other night of the Protestant heaven. It was very lifelike, and seemed to me to suit the Protestant ideal. It was a neat suburb, with well-spaced houses in excellent condition, beautiful lawns, and flower beds at each home. The clean, wide streets were immersed in mild sunshine."
The Protestant minister smiled, "And the people?"
"People," muttered Rabbi Levi, "There were no people.
We'll Be Saved
There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got to the island, one of them started screaming and yelling. "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No water! We're going to die!"
The second man was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it drove the first man crazy.
"Don't you understand?!" We're going to die!!" the first man said.
"You don't understand. I make $100,000 a week," said the second man.
The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "What difference does it make? We're on an island with no food and no water! We're going to die!!!"
The second man answered, "You just don't get it. I make $100,000 a week. I tithe. My pastor will find me!"