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Showing posts from February, 2008

Jokes for the Week

A Special Hymn A preacher was completing a temperance sermon; with great expression he said, "If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." With even greater emphasis he said, "And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." And then finally, he said, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river." He sat down. The song leader then stood very cautiously and announced with a smile, "For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: " Shall We Gather at the River ." Author is Unknown Boring Pastor An elderly woman walked into the local country church. The friendly usher greeted her at the door and helped her up the flight of steps. " Where would you like to sit ?" he asked politely. "The front row please." she answered. "You really don't want to do that", the usher said. "The pastor ...

One Liners

SIN: Commit to not commit! It's not the outlook-- it's the uplook that counts! He who sows sparingly will reap sparingly. They see our methods, He sees our motives. Plenty of folks give the Lord credit-- few give Him cash! Finding hell is easy ! It's at the end of a 'Christ-less' life. The greatest of evils is our indifference towards evil! If you cheat on the test, don't thank the Lord for the "A". Count your blessings, not your problems. If you can't sleep, don't count sheep; talk to the Shepherd. Good old knee-ology is as good as some theology. In this life it's not what you have but Who you have that counts! A hypocrite is a person who's not himself on Sunday. Money is a great servant but a terrible master! God gives every bird its' food, but He does not throw it into its nest. He who loses money, loses much; He who loses a friend, loses more; He who loses faith, loses all. God made round faces; man makes 'e...

Give it all to Jesus!!!

Brethren, have you ever been hurt by those you love the most? have you been abandoned by your friends in times of need? have you felt like holding on to something that wasn't there to begin with? "like I always say maybe it was all in my head". I say Give it all to Jesus Christ for He will turn your sorrows into Joy...  just saying this made me remember a song, sang by  Christy Lane that I love so much. I would love for you to read the post below By T D Jake's and be blessed by it... I for one really needed to hear this too... especially now. There are people who can walk away from you. And hear me when I tell you this! When people can walk away from you: let them walk. I don't want you to try to talk another person into staying with you, loving you, calling you, caring about you, coming to see you, staying attached to you. I mean hang up the phone.When people can walk away from you let them walk. Your destiny is never tied to anybody that left. The Bible said ...

A Short Story

Many folks have heard or read this story time and time again but for the sake of those who haven't already... please do read and be blessed as I was when  read it. Godbless FOR COUPLES AND INTENDING ONES.... When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. "I want a divorce!" I raised the topic calmly.She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, "Why"? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't l...

Victory Nuggets

The account of David and Goliath has permeated our culture as clothing companies, the media, and even unbelievers use its imagery. Are we handling our giants as God would have us? Face your giants through the eyes of God. Goliath is a picture of the things in life that intimidate us. When we fix our eyes on Jesus, our circumstances become less intimidating. If you're a Christian, you must see as God sees. Challenges to God's people are like challenges to God's power and authority. If you're filled with the Holy Spirit, you'll have courage. Do you realize that God wants to give us courage to deal with the Goliaths in our life? Don't take out things on your family members. If we're going to effectively deal with the giants in our life, we need to cultivate our relationship with God. A relationship with God will give us confidence in God's presence. Too often, Christians get consumed with current battles and forget past victories. The world...

'Looking Good for Jesus?

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Oh my God!!! what on Earth is this? what ever happened to not using the Name of the Lord in vain? if you are wondering why am screaming and fuming with rage at the same time just read the following article culled from Fox News website. 'Looking Good for Jesus' Cosmetics Line Pulled From Singapore Shelves Following Complaints   SINGAPORE —  A cosmetics line that extolled the virtues of "Looking Good for Jesus" has been pulled from stores in Singapore after a number of complaints from shoppers, according to media reports Tuesday. Promising to "Redeem your reputation and more," the product line included a "virtuous vanilla"-flavored lip balm and a "Get Tight with Christ" hand and body cream, The Straits Times said. Wing Tai Retail, which manages the British retailer Topshop, removed the line late last month after receiving complaints. "These products trivialize Jesus Christ and Christianity," it quoted Nick Chui, 27, o...

Worship

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Hear the sound of heaven, like the sound of many waters It's the sound of worship, coming from the throne Cries of adoration, as men from every nation Lift their voice to make His glory known, singing Chorus: Holy, holy, holy are you Lord Holy, holy, holy are you Lord The elders and angels bow The redeemed worship you now Holy, holy, holy are you Lord   Godbless Channelofhealing

Jokes

We'll Be Saved There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got to the island, one of them started screaming and yelling. "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No water! We're going to die!" The second man was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it drove the first man crazy. "Don't you understand?!" We're going to die!!" the first man said. "You don't understand. I make $100,000 a week," said the second man. The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "What difference does it make? We're on an island with no food and no water! We're going to die!!!" The second man answered, "You just don't get it. I make $100,000 a week. I tithe. My pastor will find me!"   Helpful Prayer Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room. After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a pray...

God Works In Mysterious Ways

This story will make you stop and think just for a moment what this life is all about . . . I KNOW I DID. A Short Story -- Author Unknown It was an unusually cold day for the month of May. Spring had arrived and everything was alive with color. But a cold front from the North had brought winter's chill back to Indiana. I sat, with two friends, in the picture window of a quaint restaurant just off the corner of the towns-square. The food and the company were both especially good that day. As we talked, my attention was drawn outside, across the street. There, walking into town, was a man who appeared to be carrying all his worldly goods on his back. He was carrying, a well-worn sign that read, "I will work for food." My heart sank. I brought him to the attention of my friends and noticed that others around us had stopped eating to focus on him. Heads moved in a mixture of sadness and disbelief. We continued with our meal, but his image lingered in my mind. We finished ou...

Let's Talk About Love

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Glory to God!!! February is here again and soon everyone will be all about Valentines this and Valentine that, so many people will get engaged on that day or better still get married on that day. . . Well am not against people celebrating or whatever, even I have picked out things I want my husband to buy for me, LOL. The fact still remains that many rush into things without looking, hence the high divorce rates, and spousal abuse etc (especially in the Christendom) it is scary that even the world have to give advice to Christians now. Perhaps you are already married , about to wed, or in a very serious relationship, I recommend you read this along side with your Bible. My junior sister's friend sent me this through email last year Godbless you as read SUCCESS IN LOVE RELATIONSHIPS Success in love relationships is not a matter of luck. The state of your love relationship today is a product of your choice till date. Choices are made based on the information at our disposal per ...

Scriptures

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      Psalm 9 1     I will thank you, Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all the marvelous things you have done. 2     I will be filled with joy because of you. I will sing praises to your name, O Most High. 3     My enemies turn away in retreat; they are overthrown and destroyed before you. 4     For you have judged in my favor; from your throne, you have judged with fairness. 5     You have rebuked the nations and destroyed the wicked; you have wiped out their names forever. 6     My enemies have met their doom; their cities are perpetual ruins. Even the memory of their uprooted cities is lost. 7     But the Lord reigns forever, executing judgment from his throne. 8     He will judge the world with justice and rule the nations with fairness. 9     The Lord is a shelter for the oppresse...

MASADA

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Masada was Herod's royal citadel and later the last outpost of Zealots during the Jewish Revolt. The citadel was a site of the most dramatic and symbolic act in Jewish history, where rebels chose mass suicide rather than submit to Roman capture. Masada (a romanisation of the Hebrew מצדה, Metzada , from מצודה, metzuda , "fortress") is the name for a site of ancient palaces and fortifications in the South District of Israel on top of an isolated rock plateau , or large mesa , on the eastern edge of the Judean Desert overlooking the Dead Sea . Masada became famous after the First Jewish-Roman War (also known as the Great Jewish Revolt) when a siege of the fortress by troops of the Roman Empire led to a mass suicide of the site's Jewish Sicarii fugitives when defeat became imminent. Today, Masada is a very popular tourist destination.   MASADA   FORTRESS OF MASADA   WATCHTOWER AT MASADA   ROMAN CAMP AT MASADA   SIEGE RAMP AT MASADA