We'll Be Saved
There were two men shipwrecked on this island. The minute they got to the island, one of them started screaming and yelling. "We're going to die! We're going to die! There's no food! No water! We're going to die!"
The second man was propped up against a palm tree and acting so calmly it drove the first man crazy.
"Don't you understand?!" We're going to die!!" the first man said.
"You don't understand. I make $100,000 a week," said the second man.
The first man looked at him quite dumbfounded and asked, "What difference does it make? We're on an island with no food and no water! We're going to die!!!"
The second man answered, "You just don't get it. I make $100,000 a week. I tithe. My pastor will find me!"
Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room.
After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.
"Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."
"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."
In Need of Prayer
A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for
his mother who had been very ill with the flu.
The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road.
So the pastor asked, "Shouldn't you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with
The young boy replied, "Yeah, but we didn't want to take the chance that he might catch whatever this
is that Mom has."