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Quotes For The Week

Beware, I pray thee, of presuming that thou art saved. If thy heart be renewed, if thou shalt hate the things that thou didst once love, and...

Friday, November 16, 2007

Jokes for the Week

Greetings in the  mighty Name of the Lord!!!

Falling Off The Horse

The old time pastor was galloping down the road, rushing to get to church on time.
Suddenly his horse stumbled and pitched him to the ground.
In the dirt with a broken leg, the pastor called out,
"All you saints in Heaven, help me get up on my horse!"

Then, with superhuman effort, he leaped onto the horse's back and fell off the other side.

Once again on the ground, he called to Heaven, "All right, just half of you this time!"

Author is Unknown
Lesson in Lying

A minister told his congregation, "Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying.
To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17."

The following Sunday, as he prepared to deliver his sermon, the minister asked for a show of hands.
He wanted to know how many had read Mark 17. Every hand went up.
The minister smiled and said, "Mark has only sixteen chapters.
I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying."

Author is Unknown
Speak Up

A little boy was kneeling beside his bed with his mother and grandmother and softly saying his prayers,
"Dear God, please bless Mummy and Daddy and all the family and please give me a good night's sleep."

Suddenly he looked up and shouted, "And don't forget to give me a bicycle for my birthday!!"

"There is no need to shout like that," said his mother. "God isn't deaf."

"No," said the little boy, "but Grandma is."

Author is Unknown
Helpful Prayer

Johnny had been misbehaving and was sent to his room.
After a while he emerged and informed his mother that he had thought it over and then said a prayer.

"Fine", said the pleased mother. "If you ask God to help you not misbehave, He will help you."

"Oh, I didn't ask Him to help me not misbehave," said Johnny. "I asked Him to help you put up with me."

Author is Unknown

In Need of Prayer

A young boy called the pastor of a local "corner" church to ask the pastor to come by to pray for
his mother who had been very ill with the flu.

The pastor knew the family and was aware they had been attending another church down the road.
So the pastor asked, "Shouldn't you be asking Brother Simon down the road to come by to pray with
your mom?"

The young boy replied, "Yeah, but we didn't want to take the chance that he might catch whatever this
is that Mom has."

Author is Unknown

God Bless You

Channelofhealing

8 Readers Commented:

  1. The sin of lying, can’t stop laughing. Even though it is a joke but it is reality. May God help us.

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  3. Hope you're great? not been seeing you around,your posting has not been frequent as before also.Be strong ok?the joy of the Lord is your strength.(Amen)

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  4. Thanks Bola for the thought may God bless you, will send you an email soon where I ll explain all you need to know my dear.

    Godbless

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  5. If I wasn't at work I would really laugh at loud, these are cool and funny and cute, I will make sure to tell some to my husband when we are driving home, lol. Anna :) Thanks as aways make me laugh especially after long day and snowy day (it is winter wonderland here today).

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  6. Anna, Thank God for that(Winterwonderland) and everything else He Gives us.
    happy you could laugh it's nice to know there something to make us smile everyday.

    God bless

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